Wandering In The Morning
Strains of music
Straining to reach the ear
Larks I see
Larks I hear
Standing
Under an old tree
Lonesome
Twigs bent and withering branches
Standing
Under a lamp post
Extinguished
A stranger cycles past
As dew settles on my eye
Standing
Outside
Peeping in through the window
Glassy
In the morning light
Standing
On the middle of the road
As vehicles rush past
Psychedelic visions
Noises
In a swirling motion
A haze
Of countenances
Boring eyes
Pleading eyes
Daring eyes
Of voices
Commanding
Shouting
Requesting
Of smiles
In joy
In pain
In sarcasm
Asking
Demanding
To let go
Yet hold on
To forget
Yet remember
Apathy
Yet
Concern
Walking
A tight rope
In hope
Of a hope
Fragile
Brittle
Yet a hope
To revive
A lost cause
The flowers
Unaware
Bloom
As dawn descends
A ray kisses
The golden skin
Skin on skin
One of a kin
Smile
Yellow and red
White and blue
Carnations
Sprouting on stems
Brown and green
Leaning against
A shoulder
A boulder
Rigid
Adamant
Stolid
Unrelenting
The deepening cracks
Unseen
Unnoticed
The cries
Unheard
Straining to reach the ear
Larks I see
Larks I hear
Standing
Under an old tree
Lonesome
Twigs bent and withering branches
Standing
Under a lamp post
Extinguished
A stranger cycles past
As dew settles on my eye
Standing
Outside
Peeping in through the window
Glassy
In the morning light
Standing
On the middle of the road
As vehicles rush past
Psychedelic visions
Noises
In a swirling motion
A haze
Of countenances
Boring eyes
Pleading eyes
Daring eyes
Of voices
Commanding
Shouting
Requesting
Of smiles
In joy
In pain
In sarcasm
Asking
Demanding
To let go
Yet hold on
To forget
Yet remember
Apathy
Yet
Concern
Walking
A tight rope
In hope
Of a hope
Fragile
Brittle
Yet a hope
To revive
A lost cause
The flowers
Unaware
Bloom
As dawn descends
A ray kisses
The golden skin
Skin on skin
One of a kin
Smile
Yellow and red
White and blue
Carnations
Sprouting on stems
Brown and green
Leaning against
A shoulder
A boulder
Rigid
Adamant
Stolid
Unrelenting
The deepening cracks
Unseen
Unnoticed
The cries
Unheard
posted by Swetank Gupta @ 8:18 am
10 Comments:
Hey buddy! cudnt stop myself 2 read ur poem,
well i cudnt understand much, bt surely wud like 2 read once more aft xams!!
manish.
The flowers
Unaware
Bloom
As dawn descends
A ray kisses
The golden skin
Skin on skin
One of a kin
Smile
Man! That was awesome!
@Manish
Hehe...sure
@Rohit
Thanks, dude! Didn't realise it'll strike a chord with someone, but am happy to know that you liked it.
Hey, great job, I like it!!
The structure's different from those poems of yours I read earlier - this one seems fragmented after every line... and yet you manage to hold it together. Great.
Oh, and these lines:
Asking
Demanding
To let go
Yet hold on
To forget
Yet remember
-- Gorgeous!
And these:
The deepening cracks
Unseen
Unnoticed
The cries
Unheard
-- Awesome use of words, love it!
And that 'hope' part too.
"Walking a tightrope in hope, of a hope fragile, brittle... yet a hope to revive a lost cause" -- Woah. LOVE it.
@google-struck!
Thank you. Nice to know that you love it. Okay, it's nice to hear words as fragmentation and all with regard to my poem. Feels good :D
Will have to come up with something better now.
Wow!! This poem is so much better than mine...And yet u had such nice things to say about it!! Thanks!
Wow!!
Oh and I did add you to the list of people who'd really really want me to update my blog every single day! :P
@silver mist
Well, thank you (trying really hard to be humble).
I did like your poem a lot. Had some pretty good lines which I'd have loved to use in my poems :D
Ah! so I'm in the elite list now ;)
i am gonna go n read the poem now.. :)
well..there is a hidden meaning in ever word..and as i say..meaning is usally opposite of all the written words..opposite in the sense..a poet indirectly tries to say out a particular thing through nature and other elements of life..which adds beauty even when on is trying to express pain.. i can make out some confused state of thought process.. deepening cracks? unseen? the cries? unheard?>> there's a contradiction running through out the peom.. poem possessesa dual character..we can generalize it..and personalize it as well..while reading.. n comrehending.. yes, it has a complexity.. because a hope is desired in the poem to express sth..and the sufferings are said to be unseen..hence the sufferings arent either acknowledged by one particular person or by all in general..
sarcasm, anger, self-criticism, a strong hope for hope.. threads the poem in a different way that concerned me as a reader and yet as a strenger I may not know what exactly is the cause for the loneliness and self denial in the poem and yet the words are generalized enough and a freedom is let out so that i can associate it with any problem that concern me in life.. without concluding you have left it on the reader to set a concluding thought on their own..thats really nice.. a self interest is expressed and yet selfishness is kept far far away from the poem..great work!! keep it up!!!
update swet!!! its not fair!!! :)
there's no limit to greed..is there?..kidding!! write soon whenever u can..
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