This is my last post on this blog. College is over, life's changed quite a bit recently, and I've felt for quite sometime that I've outgrown this blog. I started it three and a half years ago, it has borne through quite a lot of bad things that I've written, some good ones too (hopefully), and most importantly, it has given me so many great friends that I wouldn't have found otherwise.
As a last post here, I'll do a tag by Sayandi, the person I respect and admire the most among all the friends this blog has given me. I have a new blog where I intend to be a lot more regular, at least till I'm at home. It'll have a different flavour to it, and hopefully give the impression that I've grown in this duration. :) The new blog can be found here.
Name three most valuable assets.
Books (no surprises there), laptop (with internet), and friends.
One truth in your life that haunts you every day?
The fact that, at one point or another in my life, I’ve hurt all the people that I love the most and that I’m likely to do it again in moments of thoughtlessness..
If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the three blog buddies you would take alongside with you?
I can’t pick three. Has to be all of them. They would be (in no particular order) - Akanksha for her dreams, Amiya for being so talkative and funny, Rohit for his ‘chillax’ attitude, Sayandi for her sarcasm, Jayant simply because he exists (:P), Richa for photography (sorry Rohit!), Ishani for talking about books (Amiya, you're for just talking! :P), and Sinjini for her zest for life and for being so completely adorable.
Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Greece tops the list, but mainly it is ALL of Europe, from its westernmost corner to the Asian border, and I want to not just visit everything but also know about the history of each place, learn each language, understand the architectural differences between countries, be able to critically appreciate works of Van Gogh, Dali, Picasso, Monet etc, and the most difficult of them all, listen and be in awe of the music of Mozart and Beethoven and other greats.
If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
Find an eternal love and a true friend (hopefully in one person).
What are you afraid to lose the most in yourself?
Innocence and/or sincerity.
What would you do if you found a briefcase full of money?
Would be very tempted to use the money for myself. If I feel that the police will be able to restore it to its rightful owner, I’ll go to the police. If I feel otherwise, I’ll use it for what I would think a noble cause, and maybe a little bit for myself as well (after justifying to myself that I’ve used a major portion on something meaningful).
If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Yes. What’s the point of not doing so?
Which type of person do you dislike the most?
Hypocritical, those who have double-standards, and the ones that go back on their word.
What is your ambition?
To help my mother (that is, if she ever needs it) to reach such a level (financially, emotionally, socially, career-wise, and any other you can think of) in life that no one, absolutely no one in life can touch her.
If you were given the chance to have one super power, what would it be and why?
To be able to suck out all negative feelings from any person I come in contact with. Hence or otherwise, make everyone smile.
For you life is?
For actions on your convictions.
If you could do one thing different in life, what would it be?
Use my potential to the fullest at places where I have put in half-hearted efforts (and that is almost at every major juncture in my short life).
Are you a shopaholic?
Which actor/actress would you like to be?
I’ve never really wanted to be anyone else, but if I had to answer this question, I’d say Hugh Grant. I have a huge crush on the guy. He’s irresistible!
One song that gives you goosebumps?
Three of them – Tumse milke, aisa laga tumse milke, armaan hue poore dil ke (Parinda)
Ek din aap yun humko mil jayenge, maine socha na tha (Yes Boss)
Ae ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, aawaz de kahin se (Dil Se)
Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
Guess I’m the last one to do it anyway. I tag whoever’s left.
See you all at my new blog.
After nearly three and a half months of returning from Arcelor, I finally wrote to one of the guys who interned there with me, Matthias. He was really friendly to me and one of the few people who spoke English. I got an immediate and enthusiastic reply from him. My mail had been pretty general, a hi, a how are you, a where are you and a what are you doing. He was also a metallurgy student and a much more sincere one than I ever was as far as metallurgy is concerned. I saw him working hard, like most other interns over there, who worked for the love of the subject, for better understanding, for an earnestness of effort. They were concerned about their results, and would come back early the next morning if something went wrong with their experiments.
Matthias, too, was sincere about his experiments, his work. He would also come and help me out and provide reasons and alternatives when things didn’t go right with me, along with Malika, the two real friends I made there. I had long talks with him about his career and he finally wanted to get into some job that I really didn’t understand, maybe because his limited English made it difficult for me to understand or maybe because I’m unaware of that job profile. Yet he wanted to do it slowly, over a period of time. He had said that he would go back to Brittany, his home, a small island to the northwest of France, take up a job and live with his parents for a while.
When I mailed him today and asked what he was currently doing, he said that he had taken up a six month job in Brittany with a company that deals in military boats and submarines. And he says that it satisfies his scientific needs. This answer, and the mail in general, reminded me of what I had felt when I was in Europe those three months – that we, in India, are madly running after things, desires, which I like to call the capitalist or the American effect, rather inappropriately, since I’ve never been to the US and speak purely on the basis of impressions. Whatever be the reason, whatever be the driving force, we just seem to never be satisfied. It is not as if the Europeans did not work or aim high, but that they had a work ethic, the corporate culture was not the back-stabbing kind, the people gave as much importance to themselves, their own needs, their body, their mind, as to money. They worked in the field that gave them joy, because it gave them joy.
Why do we, here, just run and run and run. Without an end. We seek success. We seek progress. What is the upper limit? What do we aspire to become? Where will this progress lead us? There is no end, neither scientifically, nor financially. We will always be able to print more money or conjure up more ideas. Why do we do what we do? What is the benchmark of progress? As for success, how do we measure it? Why is success measured, in the present case, by the amount of money one earns, by the names we affiliated with, by the marks we receive or the praises that are showered on us? Why is success so external, so flimsy, so temporary? Why can’t we make it something that belongs to us, why don’t we decide whether we are successful or not? Why would I be successful only if I get into a job that pays me Rs. 10 lakhs an annum but a failure if I take up a Rs. 4 lakh and live in Gurgaon with my parents, have peace of mind and a proper home? Why is learning Creative Writing because I want to not a success but doing it from the best possible college is?
Why do we never stop to think where we are headed, why we are doing what we are doing? It pains me to see the kind of stuff taught to kids today in classes 7th and 8th, the kind of books they use, colorful, expensive and worthless. There is nothing tangible, nothing useful between the fancy covers that rob parents of money in the name of education. It pains me to see education becoming the biggest business around with no accountability, the reason being that education brings success. The private tuitions by school teachers after school, the IIT-JEE coachings, the Medical coachings, the MBA coachings, the private schools, the so-called engineering colleges that impart education on God knows what. Kids in class 8th and 9th today ask questions like “What’s the harm in a timepass fling,” or make statements like “She’s a flirt, it doesn’t matter if we talk like this about her,” or “It’s okay. It’s just physical attraction. We’ll go around for a while, that’s it.” Children hold parents accountable for their failures as early as high school, the adolescent period has become a nice over-hyped way of throwing tantrums and getting away with it. Not that parents are not to blame for this kind of upbringing, it is their misguided faith, their unreasonable hopes and their desire to show off their child as a success that spurs it all on.
We in IITK think that being in IITK should be testimony enough of our intelligence, our brilliance, our worth etc. etc. for universities to offer us admissions, for companies to beg us to work with them and pay us shitloads of money, for professors to let us be and not implore us to come to classes, for anyone in general to not expect us to behave, be disciplined or work hard for what we want because we are the best, the cream of the country. We shall go to chat rooms and Orkut profiles and declare that we are IITians and the guys should revere us and the girls drool over us. We shall sit here for four years and only complain about the lack of facilities, which gives us the freedom to suck out every last possible benefit from what is available and not contribute one whit back to the institute, we shall grow desperate about the highly skewed boys to girls ratio which gives us the license to dissect every one of the girls present on campus, say the most demeaning things about them and suck up to them as soon as they even look at us, our thoughts shall only revolve around how to get a girl’s attention, what would impress her the most, or dreams that shall be about a job that’ll pay us enough to go out with real girls outside IITK. When they come here to our campus, we shall take pictures and make videos from all possible angles, be the worst possible voyeurs and what more, be proud of it. We shall only jeer, yell, scorn and despise everything that we are given and never covet what we have. It is our right. We are the best.
Epics tell tales of times past, of struggles of men, of lives intertwined, of sorrows, of wisdom. Yet they always talk of turbulent times, of wars, of a rich heritage, of a golden era that was and that shall be, but the present, in every story, in every tale is saga of crime, or injustice, of torture, of tragedy. A just society, a happy society is boring. There is nothing to tell. Ramayana ends with the establishment of Ram Rajya, Atlas Shrugged ends when John Galt gets his way, The Lord of the Rings ends as Sauron is defeated, yet, it is these tales that we remember, the minutest details of the agony these people went through, their desperate attempts to salvage what they valued, their inherent belief, their mettle, their courage, and victory. Victory may not come to us, for this is not a story. But we can fight too. We can try and protect what is dear to us, what is pure and sublime that we cannot bear to see tarnished and violated. Misquoting from the Bhagwad Geeta, “Phal ki ichha mat kar, karm kiye jaa” is the one living mantra that has always made the most sense to me. In a world that I see as falling apart, conveniently oblivious to its doom, I see flashes of hope in some people, of brilliance that I wish to cradle and preserve but we must all fend for ourselves, with the knowledge that we will receive no support but we shall be pulled back at every possible opportunity. That is how it was meant to be. This is our present. Only if we could do our bit and make a difference to our own lives, it would be worth it. Everything would be worth it.
Friends have been the inspiration that has egged me on, and hopefully I will be lucky enough to run into people that make you want to make life worth living. It is because of them, because of what they have given me, because of what they are that I have hope. Prabhleen, for making me a part of his world, a world once so removed from mine, I could not have imagined our paths will converge one day. Mohit, for his grit and determination, and for standing up for me. Anuj, for really giving me the first taste of true friendship as I wanted it to be. Anant, for being sensible and sincere. Karnika, for being hyper, for being happy, for being vulnerable. Shohini, for being stable, for being hard-working, for being subtle. Mayank, for being guileless, for making me feel wanted. Abhinav (Jain) for being a friend in need. Manisha, for being so like myself. Vinod, for looking so harassed all the time, for being cynical, for being analytical. Pritha, for being so innocent. Prabha, for the sheer joy she finds in her work. Rohit, for turning out to be such a good friend, for being so real, so human, so honest. Amiya, who I never knew why I fell in love with. Prashant (Gautam) for the infinite store of creativity and intelligence that he is, for the fact that he’ll probably never find a place that is right for him. Suchitra ma’am, for her convictions, her beliefs, her commitments. Colin, for the best work ethic I’ve ever seen and the maturity that I’ll probably never match up to. Sayandi, for who she is, for her strength, her righteousness, her attitude, her whole being. And my mom. Thank you. All of you. I am what I am because of you and for you. I will be better person every single day because one or more of you have inspired me to be. I live for you, all of you and there’s no point living if not for you.
The Ramayana Series by Ashok K. Banker - A Review
The Ramayana series by Ashok Banker is a brave attempt at rewriting the entire Ramayana in the fantasy genre. It is as brave an effort for the sheer scale of the attempt as for doing something, which if gone slightly wrong, could incite religious groups all over the country. Yet he successfully manages to thwart both problems and gives us the story in a very palatable form. The defining part of all the six books is that, though varying from the actual plot at places, the retelling remains true to the spirit of the original story. The intention of the author comes across as genuine, and his stand is always humble, never claiming to best any of the previous versions that have existed over the millennia.
Banker has an eye for detail and that serves him well during the narration. It helps him bring out the finer shades in the characters and gives credibility to the incidents. From the transformation of Ravana to ‘The Dark Lord’ to Rama as ‘The Chosen One’, all the characters are neatly defined, and there never comes a point in the story where the narration is slack. For the average fantasy reader, there are enough thrills in each book to satisfy the simple need of the joy of reading, while for the more serious reader, the philosophy of the Ramayana is kept intact and in fact, at most times, the reader tends to get absorbed in the story and forget that he’s not reading one of the versions that have been doing rounds forever.
The books trace the journey of Rama’s life from the ‘Prince of Ayodhya’ to ‘King of Ayodhya’, his life as he grows from a prince to an exiled king-in-waiting to Maryada Purushottam Rama to a demi-god for all those around him. It is a great portrayal of the kind of monumental decisions that he had to take from a very tender age, the dilemmas he had to face in the name of dharma, his stoic resistance of the demons of his own will and a nagging self-doubt in the wake of all the praises showered upon him at large. Halfway through the story, even the reader starts to feel sympathetic to his cries of “I am a mortal, a normal human being with all the regular flaws and desires. Please treat me as such and not as a deva.” Yet, as the story progresses, it so happens that all his attempts seem futile and by the end, his pleas seem perfunctory, even forced as he kept amassing more and more followers from Lakshmana to Hanuman, Sugreeva to Jamabavan and Vibhisena to the reader.
Inspite of the focus being on Rama throughout, Banker does well to bring out the characters of Dasaratha, Kausalya, Kaikeyi, Sumitra, Manthara, Bharat, Vashishta and Vishwamitra. The earlier fame of Dasaratha, his just rule, his later transgressions, Kausalya’s resilience for the sake of Rama, Kaikeyi’s character from her youth to the queen of pleasures, Bharat’s overnight change to a man on learning of the exile forced upon Rama are all beautifully portrayed.
The relationships between Rama & Lakshman, Rama & Hanuman and Rama & Sita form the highlight of the series. Lakshman’s love for Rama, his devotion for his elder brother is unmatched. From the very beginning, he is shown as a naughty, happy-go-lucky teenager with immense faith in Rama and as time progresses and events unfold, the same nonchalance to life manifests itself in the form of unrestrained anger and frustration arising from the helplessness he feels in the situation, from his inability to act in any way. His only solace is in following Rama to wherever he goes, whatever he does. His character reaches a peak in book three, where, as they are about to reach Chitrakut, Rama asks him one final time to follow his own dharma, to go back to Ayodhya and serve his people. Lakshman, angered by his requests, gives Rama his own version of dharma and ends by saying, “My dharma is Rama.” That is the high point of Lakshman’s character and it doesn’t really grow a lot after this, and there is a definite disintegration of his character in the last two books.
Similarly, Sita’s character is never fully developed. Even she has her high points, but is largely overshadowed by Rama, and Ravana, for that matter. Once one is through reading the book, she doesn’t come across as the epitome of purity and chastity as we are accustomed to see her. Banker is found wanting on that account. His portrayal of Hanuman, though, is worth commending, for the absolute devotion that he’s been able to bring out, if nothing else. Rama’s each word is like a blood-oath for him. What is good to see is that we get an insight into the inner turmoil of Hanuman, what he had to face, and sacrifice to remain true and loyal to Rama. This is something that we generally tend to overlook when talking of him. It is a sensitive description of him and his feelings.
All said and done, Banker saves the best of Ravana. It clearly is the high point of the series and the best developed character that continues to grow and amaze at each step in the story. Banker deftly brings out the ambiguity in his character, the ‘Lord of Asuras’ as he is now and the penitent Brahman lost in meditation that he was at one time. Every time we see Ravana at his worst, there is some redeeming factor, some act of his that seems good, even noble, which casts a seed of doubt in the minds of the reader. By the end, one is more intrigued by him than anything else. Though Banker leaves a lot of questions unanswered, it comes across as if it was Ravana who actually planned his own murder through the hands of Rama. He remarks to Mandodhari at one point that he and Rama were friends in an age past, will be friends again in ages to come, but in this particular age, they are the worst of foes. He knows that Rama won’t kill without reason, so by abducting Sita, and other deeds, he gives him a reason to come and kill him. As we approach the end, the only thing we want to know is who really is Ravana, what is his purpose, is he really evil, or even, can Rama be wrong?
The simple reason that Banker succeeds for me in recreating that entire universe is because, though overtly, the story is clearly Rama’s, he is the protagonist and the warrior of dharma, as he himself puts it, subtly, he gives us enough clues and incidents, even direct reasons through Rama’s own self doubts and the apparent lies propagated by Ravana which make us reconsider if Rama was actually the hero. Not necessarily that he was in the wrong, but that Ravana was the sole hero and the villain of the whole story, and Rama, like a thousand others, was only a minion in his grand schemes, whether they be to spread evil or to decimate it through his own slaughter at the hands of Rama. It does raise that question, however lightly and with that, the story ends. In the end, this too, is a story of love, of life, of faith, of devotion, of dharma. In essence, this too, is Ramayana.
Originally uploaded by Swetank.
Living it for her...
24th Jan, 10 pm onwards
It’s the fifth day. I just got a call. She died. My mother was crying – expected yet unexpected. I am leaving for Delhi immediately. Classes are not a concern. I do not know how to react. I feel my stomach churning but there are no tears. My friends show concern but I’m okay. I can think straight. I think I can think straight. I know I wouldn’t make it to her place before the guests for the occasion. It doesn’t make a difference, yet it’ll never be the same again. I wish I’d had a few moments with her alone, before, or even after her death. I want to feel the interminable silence that spread between us.
I get in the train. I missed my dinner, so I buy a packet of Kurkure and a Pepsi. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be eating junk after this news, but I’m hungry. I still am not crying. I don’t know whether it’s just the lack of emotions in me or a resignation to the fact that it was just a formality, that she’d already been brain dead for five days and that probably she’d died years ago. Or maybe it’s that I see some good coming out of this happening and so I feel that it’s a good riddance. I only know that I feel like loathing myself at the moment. In any case, I lie down and take out a book. I’m already sleepy. The day had been hectic. Am I not supposed to be sleepless? That’s how they show it in the movies. Regardless, I fall asleep.
I am in the auto-rickshaw which is nearing her place. I gather my wits to face not her, but the barrage of relatives and visitors that I’ll encounter and think hard how I’m supposed to behave. I get off, pay the driver very matter-of-factly and step inside. The house is buzzing with activity. The first thing I see is mamma. I jolt out of all my thoughts. After 21 years of reading the phrase countless number of times, I now know what it means to go pale, white rather and how blood can drain out of one’s face. This is probably the first time I’m seeing mamma show her vulnerability. I’m sure it’s real but then it’s necessary too. The society demands one to be so.
They’ve just brought the body (not her) from the hospital. The door is full of people. I try to peep in and steal a look. I’m see someone, shriveled up, nose stuffed with cotton plugs. Is it her? I hear wailings. Someone beside me runs off to an inner room to cry. I remove myself from that area. I don’t like the look of it all. I don’t want to cry. I’m nearly about to but I manage to keep it to moist eyes. I hold my 9 year old cousin and lead him inside. He’s more curious than sad. I don’t know how he is supposed to feel. He never really had a relationship with her. All he heard about her were demonic things. True, but demonic. I have better memories. I’ve been loved. I still don’t know what to do.
It is time to take the body away. It’s (the her becomes an it in a flash) been bathed, tied to the wooden planks, draped with shawls from all relatives. There’s wailing, the loudest from acquaintances who haven’t met her in the past few months. I hear a comment – “Arre yeh to paanch din mein hi swaha ho gayi. Kisi se kuchh bol to jati. Aise hi chali gayi.” My mom loses her composure again, starts crying. I want to tell that lady to fuck off and mind her own fucking business. How dare she count the number of days she took to die. She’s been keeping a record, making calculations.
I’m in the ambulance with her. Her head is in my lap. It’s giving out a weird smell. I’m feeling uncomfortable. The body’s heavy, the place is too small and I don’t know how I’m supposed to react. We reach the cremation grounds. We are waiting for the busload of relatives to reach. In the meanwhile, the payment for wood has to be made. They’ve booked a VIP cremation ground for her through some MLA they know, but it’s not free right now. We get the semi-VIP one. We go there and a dog is sleeping in the area. The priest (who does not look like a priest at all) shoos him away in a very un-priestly manner. I do not understand how it would make a difference if she’s burned in the commoner’s area or the VIP or the semi-VIP area. I know that it’s not a way of paying tribute to her. Nobody’s doing that. So, are they still thinking of the social status at this moment? How am I supposed to behave?
The priest chants and rants. She burns. I can still remember her alive. I can still hear her voice in my ears, in my head. I see her burning but I also see her laughing, talking in her own mean, conniving way. Why does it seem more acceptable that burning the body? Is she dead? What’s death? No, that’s metaphysical. I won’t go there. Sahil, my nine year old cousin, is still throwing the remaining wood sticks on the smoldering body. It’s not my idea of fun. I was never called for putting flame to the body. I don’t think I’d have gone even if I was. Some people from our crowd are standing in a corner, socializing. I also see two of them laughing. They have come to the crematorium in a very self-assured way. They seem to know the difference in rates of all the cremation grounds around. Some of them have free parking. This one has. The one in Shahdara doesn’t.
We move in a file. The body still burns. The priest demands his fees. He wants the price fixed earlier and double that amount on some other pretexts. The elders haggle but he’s adamant. He’s shouting now. He’s saying something about her, about death. He’s well practiced. He won’t give in. He knows the tricks of the trade. No one’s in the mood to bargain. He gets his way. We move out. The guard at parking demands money. We refuse. We hear a lot of filth. If I were alone, I might’ve kicked him in the groin. We come back. Every visitor has to be fed. They don’t want to eat in the home where a death has occurred. We want to feed them since it is the tradition. Both are right. We win some, lose some. It’s all okay.
It’s morning now. We go to the crematorium again. We have to pick up flowers. I didn’t know what that meant. I took it literally. It turned out that all the bones do not burn to ashes, contrary to my expectations. I don’t think I did my science properly. We are supposed to collect them after a ritual involving milk, sweets and flowers which I had to procure from a few nearby shops. Even now, people are thinking who gives me the money to buy it. I’m not to do it of my parent’s money. They have egos, they have plans. They don’t have change. Things, like always, work out somehow. Now we get to the actual job of collecting the bones. I can’t. I think it is unhygienic. I don’t ant to touch them. All of them tell me to. I evade the issue. I manage to get past it all. After a lot of other things, unacceptable to me, we get back home. Tomorrow, we have to take the ashes to Garhganga for asthi-visarjan.
Family politics reaches a high. Nevertheless, the group I’m a part of, has its way. Early morning, we start for Gangaji. Mamaji is driving. The ashes are in a red cloth. “Red cloth for women, white for men”, the priest had said. I fail to see why. He’d also ordered not to place the ashes down on the floor or the seat of the car. I have to carry it in my lap for two hours till the time we reach the place. I’m not sure how I’m feeling. The red bag I’m holding used to be a person. That whole thing used to be my nani, now it’s just an inanimate thing that I’ve got to held till we can do the needful with it/her. I hold her, and I’m feeling nothing. I’m blank, I feel so hollow. Damn, don’t I have any emotions in me? Why the stone-heartedness? What if I shed a tear or two? Why can’t I? I should try harder.
Gangaji is a very commercialized place. Everybody has rates. We get crowded as soon as we get off. We took a bath in the holy river full of ashes and muck. The water was worse than ice-cold. The priest embezzled more than we intended but less than his expectations. We left at the earliest. Back home, garuda-purana has been organized for ten days. I’m forced to sit. After a while of rambling in Sanskrit and Hindi, the pandit starts describing how those who’ve sinned in this world are going to go to hell, how they bear pains like the sting of a hundred scorpions and a lot of other things that I don’t care to listen. I’ve had enough. I refuse to be a part of the circus procession anymore. I walk out.
It was her I went for, and I found everything except her. Nobody seemed to remember her. They talked of what was socially and politically correct to say. They said good things, they said superficial things. They reflected themselves, not her. She was missing. Maybe she has actually died. Maybe it was time. Maybe…
I have two exams tomorrow and I haven't yet begun studying. So you know why you just continue scrolling down to see the 60 tests I took!
You Are a Frappacino
At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern
At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent
You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet
Your caffeine addiction level: low
|You Should Get a PhD in Science (like chemistry, math, or engineering)|
You're both smart and innovative when it comes to ideas.
Maybe you'll find a cure for cancer - or develop the latest underground drug.
|Your Birth Month is December|
You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe.
Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity.
Your soul reflects: Celebration, success, and wealth
Your gemstone: Blue Topaz
Your flower: Narcissus
Your colors: Indigo, green, and blue-green
|Your Heart Is Red|
You're a passionate lover - you always have a huge fire in your heart.
Too bad it's hard for you to be passionate about just one person!
Your flirting style: Outgoing and sexy
Your lucky first date: Drinks and dancing
Your dream lover: Is both stable and intense
What you bring to relationships: Honesty
|What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You|
You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours.
Your idea of fashion is jeans and a t-shirt. Clean, if you're lucky.
You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal.
In relationships, you tend to take care of your needs first. You can only be with someone who's as independent as you are.
|Your Personality Is|
You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.
You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!
Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.
In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.
You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.
Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.
In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.
At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.
With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.
As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.
On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.
|You Should Learn French|
C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.
You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...
|Your Vocabulary Score: A-|
Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!
You must be quite an erudite person.
|Your Deadly Sins|
|Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%|
|You will get bugs, because you're too lazy to shoo them off. And then you'll die.|
|Your Blog Should Be Purple|
You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.
You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.
You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.
|You Are 19 Years Old|
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
|You Are The Group Gossip|
You love your friends...
And you love to talk smack about them
And frankly, you just love to talk in general
You're definitely the one to go to for the dirt!
Your Mood Ring is Dark Green
|You Belong in 1965|
If you scored...
1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!
1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.
1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!
1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.
1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!
|You Have Your Sarcastic Moments|
While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.
In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!
And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.
Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.
|You Are 67% Ready for Marriage|
You are almost ready for marriage, and you could be ready to be engaged.
You're still figuring out the details of your ideal relationship!
|Your Pride Quotient: 89%|
You're proud, arrogant, vain - and most likely stuck up.
And face it: you probably think you're too good for this quiz.
|Your Mind is PG-13 Rated|
Your mind is definitely a little dirty. You're naughty, but not trashy.
You don't shy away from a dirty joke, and you're clearly not a prude.
|You Are Cyclops|
Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.
You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.
Power: force beams from your eyes
|The True You|
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to do more for you.
With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.
You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society.
You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.
|How You Are In Love|
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You tend to take more than give in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
|You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish|
Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.
You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.
A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.
But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.
|Your Outrageous Name is:|
|Slow and Steady|
Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.
They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.
It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.
They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.
|Your True Love Is a Taurus|
Why you'll love a Taurus:
Romantic and sentimental, a Taurus can provide you with the security you need.
And you both share a fondness for the finest things, from great food to luxury vacations.
Why a Taurus will love you:
You have the honesty and direct approach that down to earth Taurus desires.
And enough elegance to show a Taurus a few new decadent delights!
|Your Aura is Violet|
Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.
And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!
The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say
Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony
Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach
|You Are Olive Green|
You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself.
For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself.
You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you.
People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.
|People Envy Your Compassion|
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.
|You Are a Fun Flirt|
You just can't help yourself... you flirt with everyone you know.
Guys, girls, crushes, and friends. They're all victims to your charm.
You're into silly innuendos, sexy jokes, and playful touches.
You are a huge flirt, yet you never make anyone (too) uncomfortable!
|You Are Cameo|
You are understanding and very empathetic.
You don't tend to have acquaintances. Everyone is your friend.
And all of your friends tend to be friends. You have a knack for bringing very different people together.
|You Failed 8th Grade Spanish|
Sorry, you only got 2/8 correct!
|You Are Somewhat Honest|
You do tend to tell the truth a lot
But you also stretch the truth on occasion
You figure a little lie isn't a big deal
As long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!
|You Are 58% Feminine, 42% Masculine|
You are in touch with both your feminine and masculine sides.
You're sensitive at the right times, but you don't let your emotions overwhelm you.
You're not a eunuch, just the best of both genders.
|Your Driving Is is: 82% Male, 18% Female|
According to studies, you drive like a typical male.
You're reckless, aggressive, and see driving as a game.
And while you like to live on the edge a little, you still know how to drive safely.
|If You Were Born in 2893...|
Your Name Would Be: Pant Umori
And You Would Be: Half Alien
|In 1985 (the year you were born)|
Ronald Reagan is president of the US
Live Aid, a 17 hour rock concert broadcasts worldwide from London and Philadelphia, raising $70 million for starving Africans
An 8.1 magnitude earthquake hits Mexico City and results in about 25,000 deaths
Vocano "Nevada del Ruiz" erupts near Bogota, Columbia causing mud slides that bury two towns
American Jew Jonathan Pollard is arrested for giving military secrets to Israel
Mikhail Gorbachev becomes Soviet leader
New Coke is released on the 99th anniversary of Coca-Cola
The GNU Manifesto first written by Richard Stallman
Kansas City Royals win the World series
San Francisco 49ers win Superbowl XIX
Edmonton Oilers win the Stanley Cup
Back to the Future is the top grossing film
Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis is published
David Lee Roth leaves Van Halen to begin a solo career
"Careless Whisper" by Wham! spends the most time at the top of the US charts
Elmo is introduced on Sesame Street
The Golden Girls and Growing Pains premiere
|Your Dominant Thinking Style: Exploring|
You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name.
You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs.
An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles.
You show people how to question their models of the world.
|You Are 25% Redneck|
The wheels still turning, but the hamster's dead.
You're just fakin' bein' a redneck.
|You Are 80% Open Minded|
You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!
Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.
You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.
You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.
|You Belong in the USA|
People either love you or hate you
And you really don't care what anyone thinks
Big and bold, you do things your way
|You Passed 8th Grade Math|
Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!
Your Slanguage Profile
Aussie Slang: 75%
British Slang: 75%
Prison Slang: 50%
Canadian Slang: 25%
New England Slang: 25%
Victorian Slang: 25%
|Your Lust Quotient: 56%|
You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it.
Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!
|Your Brain is 87% Female, 13% Male|
You have the brain of a girly girl
Which isn't a bad thing at all
You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.
You're a good friend and give great advice.
|Your Passion is Gray|
Your sexual attitude is best described as apathetic.
Often joking that you're asexual, you can go months without getting any.
For you, great sex does not make or break a relationship.
If it happens, it's just the icing on the cake.
|You Are Expressionism|
Moody, emotional, and even a bit angsty... you certainly know how to express your emotions.
At times, you tend to lack perspective on your life, probably as a result of looking inward too much.
This introspection does give you a flair for the dramatic. And it's even maybe made you cultivate some artistic talents!
You have a true artist's temperament... which is a blessing and a curse.
|Your Pickup Line Is|
You have been very naughty! Go to my room!
|You Should Maybe Go to Grad School|
Grad school may be the right choice for you, but you need to investigate further.
So put those studying skill to use, and pick a program that's perfect for you.
And make sure you're going for the right reasons - not just to avoid getting a job.
|What Your Dreams Mean...|
Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious.
You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep.
You tend to be a very productive thinker.
You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.
|Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence|
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.
|You Are 86% Grown Up, 14% Kid|
Your emotional maturity is fully developed, and you have an excellent grasp on your emotions.
In fact, you are so emotionally mature - you should consider being a therapist!
|You Are Best Described By...|
By Salvadore Dali
|You Are 5: The Investigator|
You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker.
You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does.
Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.
You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.
|You are 80% Sagittarius|
|You Will Die at Age 82|
Congratulations! You take good care of yourself.
You're poised to live a long, healthy life.
|You Should Weigh 175|
If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.
If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!
|Your Hidden Talent|
You have the power to persuade and influence others.
You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around.
The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it.
Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!
|You are an Atheist|
When it comes to religion, you're a non-believer (simple as that).
You prefer to think about what's known and proven.
You don't need religion to solve life's problems.
Instead, you tend to work things out with logic and philosophy.
|You Are An ISFJ|
You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.
|Your Birthdate: December 14|
You work well with others. That is, you're good at getting them to do work for you.
It's true that you get by on your charm. But so what? You make people happy!
You're dynamic, clever, and funny. And people like to have you around.
But you're so restless, they better not expect you to stay around for long.
Your strength: Your superstar charisma
Your weakness: Commitment means nothing to you
Your power color: Fuchsia
Your power symbol: Diamond
Your power month: May